The same image always comes to mind when we think of family legal situations like custody. We see a father with no parental rights paying his ex-wife an arm and a leg. But this popular misconception isn’t the norm, and many other myths surround the practice.
Family custody lawyers will tell you this is one of the trickiest legal areas. Relationships are complicated, and the courts have biases against both the man and the woman. You need a lawyer for your family to help you along the way.
Unfortunately, not even the best lawyer can make the courts look past your bad behavior. What things are a bad idea when working with divorce and family lawyers?
In this article, we will tell you about five big mistakes you should avoid with your family attorney if you want to win the case.
Common Mistakes to Avoid Family Custody Lawyers
1. Don’t Bad-Mouth Your Ex
Trust us, and We get it. Divorce can often be a harrowing experience that rips families apart. Emotions are high, and some negative energy is par for the course.
Most will have a verbal outburst against their former partner at some point. Many times, they have a very justifiable reason for it, too. This is bad practice, though, even in the presence of your Greenville Family Lawyer.
First and foremost, think of your children. They likely haven’t processed the cruel reality that you have divorced. They may even believe this stint apart to be a brief one.
Cruel words about your partner can damage their relationship with you. It poisons their perception of the other parent. The word could get around, and you damage your case because of a handful of spiteful insinuations.
What to Do Instead
Get therapy. You will likely need to do so at some point. Use this as an outlet to vent, rather than around your kids or other listening ears.
2. Don’t Manipulate Your Child With Emotions
Obviously, no one sees themselves as a manipulator. Unfortunately, even the best folks are capable of manipulation. The average family attorney sees cases like this all the time.
For example, you may use your child as a splashboard for your emotions. You try to force them to see your perspective. Most importantly, to acknowledge your feelings in lieu of your ex-partner’s.
It’s a very subtle type of manipulation, but manipulation nonetheless. The end result could be what courts call “parental alienation.” Naturally, this impacts their decision on whether to give them custody.
What to Do Instead
Counseling, again, is a good solution.
Try to understand things from your child’s perspective. Except in rare cases, they deserve a relationship with their estranged parent. You have no right to take that from them.
3. Don’t Avoid Necessary Communication With Your Ex
Speaking to your ex can seem like literal torture. In your mind, they are the genesis of this awful situation. Forcing yourself to strike up even a small conversation can easily ruin your day.
However, the courts expect you to coordinate aspects of parenting with them. Except in cases of neglect, this will be a lifelong responsibility. You will have to work in tandem with your ex, regardless of your feelings for them.
Failure to do so may demonstrate to the courts that you’re not worthy of your custody share. You may lose visitation rights or other privileges. Take things too far, and the court may reconsider the arrangement.
What to Do Instead
Find easier ways to communicate where possible. For example, texting is usually easier (emotionally speaking) than calling. Learn strategies for remaining calm and composed when dealing with them in person.
4. Don’t Refuse Visitation for Your Child
It’s a bad — and petty — idea to deny the other parent access to your child. Understandable, sure, but it gives your ex ammo against you. Same as with other poor behaviors, it shows the court you’re not worthy of your custody share.
Denying visits can often happen in simple ways. For example, making sudden plans that deprive your ex of their scheduled weekend. Particularly when you do so as leverage for something you want.
It’s acceptable to deny access when you have a reasonable suspicion of abuse or harm. Otherwise, you must comply with the arrangement.
What to Do Instead
Make no effort to resist giving access to your child. Being openly cooperative only strengthens your case.
Plus, you will have to get used to it until your child grows up. That could be a decade or longer. Get used to it now rather than later.
5. Don’t Ignore Court Orders
It’s vital that you obey the court to the letter with any family law issues. They decide custody and parenting arrangements as a matter of law. They can take your rights away if you break the rules.
For example, child support. One parent may have the legal obligation to pay the other for child-rearing. If the court orders it, there are no ifs, and, or buts.
Failure to comply can quickly land you in hot water. When you return for a case review, don’t expect sympathy.
The same applies even if you weren’t aware you were in contempt of the court. Pleading to the judge that you “didn’t know” won’t go down well.
What to Do Instead
You should review the arrangement in detail. Follow everything with exactness. Same as we have said before, being on your best behavior only strengthens your case.
Find Family Custody Lawyers for You
Family custody lawyers have seen many, many parents make big mistakes. Don’t be the one who fails to communicate, denies access to a child, or is emotionally manipulative. Be mature and respect the custody agreement.
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